Why Aelred's Garden?

I thought of this name for my blog for two reasons. The first is that St. Aelred is the name of my ordination day Saint, and I like gardens.
In 1985 the Bishop of Rhode Island chose January 12 for me to be ordained a priest - the earliest convenient Saturday in his schedule. Recent Seminary grads are usually ordained Deacons at their home Cathedral in June. The ordination to the Priesthood occurs no less than six months later. I was ordained Deacon with three others on June 23, 1984 and it was unlikely that I would become a Priest two days before Christmas so January 12 it was. The calendar of Saints revealed that St. Aelred was also celebrated that day. Saints are remembered on the date of their deaths, or more importantly, birth to everlasting life.
I didn’t know the name of Aelred prior to my ordination plans but what I found out made me quite fond of him. Born in 1110 AD in northern England he became a monk at a young age and over the years the Abbot of Riveaux, a large monastery also in the north of England and important in the early history of the Church of England. Aelred was a scholar and writer as well as Abbot and at the urging of St. Bernard of Clairveaux wrote what became an enduring work called “Spiritual Friendship”.
This book, short by modern standards, plumbs the depth of friendship from a Christian, spiritual point of view. Far from being didactic, it’s touching, insightful and ultimately revealing. Taken together with his written instructions as Abbot and published letters, he departed from other monastic traditions and allowed monks to explore friendships with each other. Normally discouraged or even prohibited, deep friendships were suspect as being possibly sexual or at the very least divisive in community life if conflicts arose between the friends themselves or the friends against the others in community. Aelred saw the deep nature of friendship as being able to transcend such conflicts, and used the example of Jesus’ friendship with His apostles - and by extension Jesus’ friendship with the believer and even further, the church. Our earthly friendships are reflections of the divine friendship.
Aelred’s letters are sometimes directed to his particular friend. Modern scholars read what we would describe today as a gay relationship into these letters. While love between male friends doesn’t’ have to be gay, it’s plausible that the emotions and intimate love between Aelred and his friend was that of lover and beloved. Given Aelred’s writings and today’s controversies, Aelred has been given the unofficial title of “Gay Saint” and adopted by gay religious organizations as a patron saint. Another reason to love Aelred and what a nice coincidence for me as a gay priest to share his feast day! I also refer to him as Patron Saint - one who is important and worthy of emulating.
As for gardens - they are beautiful, peaceful and invite the visitor to slow down, relax and even go deeper into meditation. This sabbatical is a time for me to enter that garden in this point of my ordained life. I’ve chosen places that are far flung in geography and tradition. I want to experience faith, spirituality and friendship with God in as many human contexts as I can. A garden is made up of more than one flower for the beauty of the many. Faith is like that for me and the experience is wonderful. God is in more than one tradition and place and friendships with God and people call me deeper and deeper into the mystery of his love.
That’s why this blog and the spiritual theme of this trip is called Aelred’s Garden!